GONE FOREVER BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN

Gone forever but never forgotten.

  The day i was afraid of will happen, that moment came. 16 May 2018, a day i will never be able to forget in my life. After all the struggle and difficulties i had gone through in my life due to my kidney problem, i must say this is really a big blow to me and my siblings.

  

  Our beloved most precious Dolly left us. Dolly is my pet dog. A mixed breed shih tzu with a lovely unique personality. I still remember, it was on a wednesday. A week before, she was as normal as always, sniffing and snuggling with me and all of a sudden that one friday evening she didnt want to eat. She was just lying down sleeping all the time.

  My sister took her to the vet clinic the very next day as i know that it is a bad sign if a dog rejects its food. The doctor just said fever and sent her home. We didn't realise that it was actually something far worst than that. A few days later, no improvement and her legs started trembling. So my brother and i took her to a different animal clinic to meet a specialist.

  

  The doctor did a blood test and a scan on my baby Dolly. She came after 10 minutes and told me the results. That 10 minutes before she came, i was praying really hard that it should be good results. I guess my bad luck no god heard my prayers on that day. I could not believe myself as the doctor said that my baby Dolly is suffering from cancer. She's in pain and weak. She's actually dying.

  The doctor told me to bring her the next day as the senior doctor was not around. Perhaps a second chance for Dolly. So the next day, we went with a hope that a miracle might happen. All three siblings, my brother, sister and myself took our beloved Dolly with a hope that she will be cured. Although i realised that she gave up and is
dying, the overwhelming love i had for Dolly made me not to believe the truth.

  At the clinic, she lay right between me and my sister scared and weak. I took one last selfie with her and then the doctor called her name. We entered the cold room and lay her on the table. Two doctors hold her and the senior doctor came in. He examined her and scanned her belly. Within minutes he identified the tumor and said, "the tumor has ruptured and spread everywhere. Her spleen, liver and kidneys all gone, you tell the owners", he said to the other doctor and left the room hurriedly to perform a surgery for another dog.

 We knew what happened and i tried to control my emotions. I did not want to cry in front of my baby. I didn't want her to spend her last minutes with us looking at us crying. I knew she always showered love on us and she wont like it if we are sad. After my sister discussed with us, she told the doctor to do what was necessary to stop her pain. She couldn't even tell to perform the euthanasia. We really couldn't believe its happening.

  

  The doctor gave us some time to be with her. We talked, hugged and kissed her one last time. She was too weak to even kiss us. My baby Dolly was really suffering and she just gave up. I thanked her for going through the ups and downs in my life for the past 9 years and said I Love you.
She did not respond to us and just laid on the table.

  

  The doctors came in to perform the euthanasia. They gave her a sedation to sleep and then they injected a red colour substance through her main artery at her neck. Within seconds, the doctor declared her dead. That' it!! Out beloved most precious Dolly left us. Rest in peace my girl, i said to her.

  The very next second, i cried. My heart was shattered into a million pieces. We all cried and broke down. She left us so soon. We were not prepared to let her go but we have no choice. We had to stop her pain and suffering. The least we can do to repay her love and affection that she had for us. The doctor placed her in a box and we brought her back home. As soon we entered, my mom cried too. Although she doesn't like any pets but she loved Dolly. It's just that she dont express it like us.

  We kept her box right in the middle of our living room and placed colourful fresh flowers on her. Around 5pm that evening, my brother and his friends took her and buried at a nearby park. We went and watched one last time and bid goodbye to her. May her soul rest in peace. 9 years 8 months together with me and my siblings. 

  We gone through a lot of happy and sad moments together and you was always there to support and care for me. You kept me strong all the time. Thank you my dear. I will always love you my dear chupima. You are gone but will never be forgotten till my last breathe. I love you my dear. You will always be in my heart. Maybe many would make fun but only dog lovers and people close to us would be able to understand this pain. What a pity such an amazing animal have a short lifespan only. 

Dolly@chupima
Past away peacefully on 16 MAY 2018
Man's Best Friend