I haven't blogged for a long time. I guess for more than a year. I've been going through a critical phase in my life. I had some terrible lows in these past 2 years.
Moving out from our very own home was the hardest decision we made and finally in February 2018 we did it! (with siblings & mom) - of course, thanks to the support of family & friends. We set foot with high hopes for a better, peaceful future but in just 3 months time, our 10 years old pet sister, Dolly died of cancer. We were devastated. That pain itself was so much to cope with, and then in 2019 my sister had an infection and was hospitalised. Her condition was quite bad at that time but we got things under control.
Atleast for a few months...
Then the year 2020 came and as everyone knew, Corona Virus spreaded and the whole world suffered a great loss from it. But the biggest blow to my family was the sudden death of my mother. Amma's passing was a great loss to all of us. We are still grieving and it feels just as the same day she left us. I'm trying to keep myself strong, to live with the wonderful memories I had with her, to accept that her time & purpose is over. Yet, I really miss her and I'm yearning for her presence in the house, every single day!
I'm physically, mentally & emotionally down myself.
I've been living with kidney failure and doing dialysis for the past 18 years. That's actually quite a long time. It kept getting worse and over these years, I've accumulated a number of other health issues as well. First, it was epilepsy - I was hospitalised a numerous times for that. Then from mild to profound hearing loss (I guess due to the epilepsy) and lately I'm suffering badly from hyperparathyroidism.
It makes my bones weak and fragile and limits my mobility. And I'm waiting for my surgery that supposed to be done back in December 2020 but got postponed due to Covid. It's fixed in August but I hope that I can able to endure with the symptoms and agonising, continuous pain. Hope I don't fracture any of my bones, till then....Fingers crossed!
So much of difficulties, pain and agony felt throughout these years but I think the most dreadful feeling of all is grieving for the loss of a loved one. Definitely! It's hard to digest when it happens to our loved ones rather than to ourselves. It happened twice in two years time! And I can't describe how down I am feeling right now.
It's a struggle. I am working my way through it, as usual. I believe where there is hope, there is life. Moving on, positively & with great hope for the year 2021!
Wishing everyone a great year ahead!
Stay safe & let's fight this pandemic together, responsibly!
